It does. It's lurking, right around the corner. I know it's there, though, and I'm not scared anymore. Maybe I'm being cocky, but I'm not really nervous, either. Sunday night's 9 mile run where I felt like I could go on and on (and on, and, truly, ON) was a milestone for me. Something clicked and I realized: I can do this. And I can and I will.
Today marks 9 days to go, and this week's been a busy one. With the kids both in school at the same time for a couple of hours each day, I've actually been getting in all or nearly all of my Hal Higdon prescribed training runs, and some extra bootcamp-like workouts besides. Even having company all weekend, I selfishly headed out and skipped dinner their final night there, because I had to get my long run in or pay the mental price. And I'm glad I did, because that was the run that made everything okay in my head, and told me I was going to be fine. In pain, sure. Slow compared to the rest of the smallish field of runners? Yes. But! I'm going to finish it running and I couldn't even run a mile in March, so that's what matters to me. I'll worry about going faster on the next one. (!)
This video is simple and straightforward and that's the beauty of it. Hats off to this guy, who has it so right: If you want to do it, all you have to do is do it. It's so basic and it's SO TRUE. (Seriously, I wish I could somehow manage to express myself re: running and how my view of myself has changed without sounding like I've had a partial lobotomy and they replaced the removed brain portion with a Life Is Good coffee mug. Working on it.)
And this guy's blog, too. Right on.
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